Introspect: Bane of My Existence

I think the hardest thing about being a published author is looking back on work you've done years past-- published or not-- and realizing how much better you could have made it if you'd been patient enough to write the stories when you had the skill and experience to execute them more effectively.

Take Kaleb's story for example. When I wrote it, I thought it was the most intense story I'd ever written. I frequently called it my masterpiece and I didn't think I'd ever be able to top it. Then, about a month ago a reviewer pointed out that with that story, not only did I leave questions unanswered, I pulled back in the more poignant parts and wrote it like it was in a third person point of view instead of Kaleb's, and it took away some of the power of the emotional scenes. That's something I try not to do now, and I'm more aware of it because of that comment and just growing as an author, I just wish I'd waited and rewritten Kaleb's story until I had more faculties, more ability to put emotion into writing.

I learn a lot every time I publish something, and I think through publishing something I thought was my masterpiece, I found a story that was similarly worth telling without the sheer amount of angst. Kaleb's story is one angst after another until he settles down, but the one I'm working on now isn't that way. Kay's more or less just a normal young adult who, sure, had a different upbringing than most people, but it doesn't ever cause him angst.

I think it's a little bit funny that Kaleb and Kay have about the same amount of words to their stories, but Kaleb's is all in one novel and Kay's is spanning three now. I should have broken Kaleb's story up into more than one novel, because there was so much more about his life that I could have touched on, some less intense and some more. Live and learn, I suppose.

I feel the same with my novel, Phoenix. I could probably write that novel so much better now if I'd waited to publish it. I could have given Blake an intensity that I hadn't managed when I wrote it. I do have a sequel in mind for that world, but it's on the backburner. It's almost funny, how different the writing is going to be between the two sequels.